Friday, Dec. 05, 2003 - 3:58 pm
Thank you to everyone who is still reading.....truly dedicated friends. Glad to know you all....even if only through diary entries and notes of affection. I really do appreciate it.
I'm writing now about my lovely daughter. *S* She's growing up so much everyday.....and she's so lovely.
She has a great sense of humor....despite all the digusting and icky things in her life. She constantly tells me I need to quit smoking.....which makes me feel bad...but shows me that she does care about me. I worry so much sometimes about her. I worry that I've messed myself up so much that she'll only remember me as a messed up shell of a person. I think she will remember better things though. I think that I will get married to Roger....and that everything she remembers will be better.
It's kind of like Gilmer County is a land stuck in a shadow and storm. It's always bad here. There are some days when it is just beautiful....but I mean that my life and everything involved here are always seeming to be bad. It's like living in a depression. A town-wide depression. The people here put up a mask and pretend to be better....but deep down this town hurts and cries daily. Anyway....I'm rambling.
My biggest problem right now is impatience. I am so excited about the future and what it has in store for my little family....I just can't wait. It almost kills me to wait.
But then again.....hope feels so much better than despair.
