Tuesday, Oct. 07, 2003 - 4:30 pm
So I saw a bird this morning, and it looked so pretty. All of its feathers were ruffled up so that it was twice its normal size. I looked at this bird for a while, and then I thought that I am exactly like that bird.
All of these feathers....ruffle them up so big that I look twice as tough as I am. But underneath all of those feathers and all of that talk, I am just a small and weak person.
I thought about how that bird would never unruffle those feathers just to show everyone how small it truly is, and I realized that I feel insecure in every situation and I am afraid of everything. I put on this great show of security and bravery, but I have none and I am always bluffing.
Secretly I desire approval in everything that I do, and I want to please everyone.
But yesterday, I realized that I cannot please everyone. I cannot be everything. I cannot do anything.....but pretend.
I have a lot of figuring out to do guys. I probably won't be back for a while. Go back and read "It's Her House." She is me....and I am afraid of turning out like her.
